It’s been a year since those final dates were added and notarized to balance this world’s bookkeeping on the life of R. Judson Carlberg.
October 1, 1940-November 20, 2014
We each end up with but a few numbers and a small dash representing the time of our lives. If we allow it, hopelessness and helplessness, fear and worry can snatch the good from each good morning and good night and all the goods in between. It helps me to remember that Jud’s story continues, only a chapter ended.
This “learning to be content” that Paul talks about in Philippians 4 remains a daily discipline of mind and heart for me. Is it ever, I have learned? I think it’s active and ongoing…learning. Life long learning.
Abraham Lincoln said,”The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.” That’s the safest place for me to stay…this day, this moment.
.In my recent travels by car, I passed an exit in Pennsylvania that would’ve led me to the home of Crayola. It was tempting to shunpike and find the factory. I still love coloring. A new set of crayons, markers, colored pens or pencils can pretty up my to-do list and make me feel like tackling the impossible. Or keep me doodling, delaying happily. Recently I read somewhere,”broken crayons can still color.”
As I reflect on this past year without Jud, I’m surprised that it’s been a year. The NET still holds and courage to keep on comes from unexpected places, like flowers from Ross and friends today or words printed on the small calendar for November on my bedside table, “Every thing is going to be ok.”
As God’s child, I know that’s God’s truth. All will be well, so sleep well. I dare say a Good night and wake up to a Good morning by faith.
So to you who ask,”How are you doing?” My heart is full of gratitude, but it’s also broken, so lonesome for Jud. I’m kind of like a broken crayon not what I was with Jud but learning each day that “broken crayons can still color.”
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