Notes from Jan

Happy Birthday, Jud.

October 2, 2016

It’s today.

He would’ve been 76 which seems old to the young, young to the old.

Wonder what he’s doing?

Probably, fishing.

Me, too.

Fishing for glimpses into life after this one ends, not so curious I want to leave today.

Thinking odd thoughts like, while Jud’s ageless, I’m aging.  Will he recognize me?

Culled through Jud’s books, yesterday, hunting one to give Luke for his 13th birthday. Found one on boating, given to Jud when he was a teenager, preparing to lead the boat crew at Word of life Camp in Schroon Lake, New York.  So young.  So trustworthy.

Stopped writing to run a few errands. Half way home I realized I’d left my cane dangling on the grocery cart.  Called to see if someone’d turned it in.

“No. I’ll go out and look,” said someone from customer service.

It’s raining.  Not pleasant to go outside and look.  

When I pulled up,  a cart boy asked,”Anything I can do for you?”

I, weary from more than forgetfulness, uttered a feeble,”Just here to see if anyone’s turned in a cane. It’s turquoise and sparkly.” (unlike me)

“I found it! Wait here, I’ll get it for you.”

So I sat, warm and dry, listening to Prairie Home Companion and fishing for tip money.

He returned, grinning and holding my cane like a song and dance man.

“Here it is, Miss.”

Misfit, I thought, while thanking and handing him a tip.

“Can’t take that but is there anything else I can do for you?”

“No.  You’ve done more than enough.  Thank you.”

He smiled, again, and blessed me by not adding,”no problem.”

Simple act of kindness on a day when I missed Jud.

Sorta felt like God sent him,  disguised as a cart boy.

and it’s not my birthday.

Wonder if that’s what Jud wanted for his.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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10 Comments

  • Reply Lori October 2, 2016 at 12:32 am

    Happy Birthday Uncle Jud! We love you Aunt Jan. Sending our love from Arizona ❤️

  • Reply Katherine Bagley October 2, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    This made me smile and feel sad at the same time. What a gift that young man and his joy to help was for you. Sending a big hug….

  • Reply Nancy Sheys October 2, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    You are sad being physically apart, but you’re still spiritually connected. When one loses a spouse, it must be like part, a large part, of yourself has been taken away. In some ways you are “handicapped” without your beloved. So much pain! “But God”…often written in scripture, never forgets that pain. He shows Himself in ways like the young man who was happy to help you and didn’t say, “No problem”! That, too, was from our Lord. Remember when Jesus wept while learning that Lazarus had died. He didn’t weep because of his friend was dead, but about the awful pain of death. He understands. Hugs to you!!! Remember the good times.

  • Reply Liz Freemantle October 2, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    Sending especially loving thoughts your way today.

  • Reply susan October 2, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    Tears falling through smile. xxoo

  • Reply wendy lane October 2, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    I echo all the other comments. (except I’m not in Arizona!) 🙂 So much love and hugs and thankfulness to the Lord for you and dear Jud. <3

  • Reply Raquel October 2, 2016 at 8:41 pm

    It was the first thing I thougth of yesterday: October first…dearest Dr. C.
    Thinking and praying for you, dearest MamaJan! Psalm 23
    Love you!

  • Reply Lianne Petrocelli October 3, 2016 at 12:19 am

    Dan and I loved seeing your kind smiling face this weekend and your hugs are always the best. As Dan and I walked past your old driveway, on Saturday, to the presidents house we both felt Juds absence and reminsed of the huge heart he had for ALL the students. A true example of authentic love. We love you Jan and hope to find a moment to stop by for tea in the near future.

  • Reply Jeri October 3, 2016 at 8:35 pm

    Anniversaries are like that, bringing up so many conflicting emotions. May you be blessed by those around you Jan. And you have the eyes to see those blessings, even in cart-boys. Not everyone does!

    Sending you love and prayers during the hard days!
    Jeri

  • Reply Dale Lefever October 3, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    Thanks Jan. Your words make me wonder how many times each day I miss Jesus because I am looking for someone else. Of course, the Pharisees missed him too, because they had the wrong expectations.

    Blessings, Dale

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