This morning I read a passage underlined on the day Jud underwent spleen surgery at MGH in 2014. “God can do anything, you know–far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.” (Ephesians 3 The Message).
Oh, how I inhaled those words three years ago, like life-extending meds for Jud(and me), then adjusted expectations, finally accepted that the prayers I mumbled in the dark, won’t always deliver my miracle.
Who hasn’t asked, like Phillip Yancey,Where is God When It Hurts?
The older I get, the fewer answers I have, but sometimes sense, “God’s Spirit working deeply and gently within.”
Jud lived that until his last breath. I’m learning, trying not to miss the manna, those daily doings of God’s in the middle of life’s muddles. That’s probably why I underlined this passage from A Gentleman in Moscow:
“Andrey knew his wife wouldn’t be home yet, she’d be waiting in line at the new milk store that had opened in a decommissioned church on the other side of the neighborhood. She said the milk there was fresher, the line shorter, but Andrey knew this wasn’t true. Like so many others, she went there because the small chapel at the back of the church had a mosaic of Christ and the Woman at the Well that no one had bothered to dismantle; and the women who waited in line for their milk were willing to hold your place while you slipped away to pray.” (pgs.315-316)
Blessed are all who hold a place in line for someone. And thanks and praise to the God who waits and listens, even when there are no words.
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