Notes from Jan

Thoughts When Life Fogs Up

September 18, 2017

No church today.

I missed being there.

No way to rise, stand or kneel without putting my knee at further risk. This week it decided to lock in place at unexpected times, leaving me hurting and tip-toeing.

Even though the teaching in I Corinthians 12 refers to the Church; it doesn’t take much pain or malfunction of the human body to realize the truth, “all parts of the body are needed.”

From my Perch, today’s vista stayed cloaked in fog and mist, blurring the line between land and sea.

Aging can blur more than vision, leaving one fearful of letting loose of what was, to grasp hold of what’s out there, if interested.

It’s tempting to dwell on what I did but can no longer do; to waste whatever time I have lamenting losses instead of learning what’s possible. (In the practical, it could mean possible surgery for a balky knee.)

Sometimes, the unpredictability of this end of life feels like encroaching fog.

Some of you might be thinking, “she sounds like she’s preparing to die.”

Nope, just reflective.

Fog does that to me.

Part of what makes life so mysterious and laden with wonder is the unpredictability of it all.

It’s also frustrating and unsettling.

Joan Chittister in The Gift of Years writes,”Holiness is made of dailiness, of living life as it comes to me, not as I insist it be.”

Time to back off from control.

Trust.

Holy Help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Comments

  • Reply dan russ September 18, 2017 at 1:27 am

    Dear Jan,

    I am praying for healing for your knee and that you can enjoy that fog, knowing that the sun is always on the other side.

    Dan

  • Reply Marcia Lier September 18, 2017 at 2:26 am

    WOW! This came in at a perfect time, just as I was trying to write some encouraging words to my dear sister-in-law who is battling crummy knees. Her husband just had his leg amputated and is not exhibiting Christ-like behavior. I just forwarded your message. She loved it. And we missed you in church. Such a powerful message!! And the music. . . .so uplifting. Peace of Christ be with you, Jan.

  • Reply Wanda Madden September 18, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    Jan, you may not remember me…but my husband Tim and I were in URC for the early years of our marriage and attended most every teaching you did on marriage! They were so crucial in building the foundation of our marriage. I was so happy to find you again at this season in my life. Thank you for the others on aging.. I was so taken with this phrase…
    “Part of what makes life so mysterious and laden with wonder is the unpredictability of it all” It seems to sum up my thoughts right now. Blessing to you!

  • Reply David Smith September 18, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    FOG
    Sure, it’s foggy out…
    But it’s also foggy in
    brain and body stuck
    In dull rut again.
    Black and white
    But mostly gray
    Sends the traveler
    Nowhere-away.
    Fog is here
    And here to stay.
    (Lord, a dash of
    color I pray!)

  • Reply wendy lane September 18, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    So much love and prayers for you dear Jan!!!!

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