Notes from Jan

Scattered Rugs and Thoughts

August 4, 2018

Love bookstores! Last week, while browsing a table of newly minted paperbacks, Your Second Life Begins When You Realize You Only Have One, grabbed my attention, which is what  good marketers hope happens.

Armed with the reminder of the brevity of this one life, I returned home, threw caution to the wind  and scattered rugs.

You laugh.

Not if you’ve ever been interrogated by  representatives from medicare or some accident prevention professional.  In case you’re unaware,  small rugs lie in wait like rabid animals, ready to pounce, trip, break bones and send you to an extended care facility or an early grave. Which reminds me of my son’s comment at one of my recent birthdays, “You no longer have to worry about dying young.”

Well, I’ve had enough of, “How are we today?”

We?!

I hardly know you.

Before and after knee surgery, they came armed with questions, assumptions and a desire to yellow tape my world.  Dangers lurked and I,  apparently, was exhibit A for mishaps and worse.

Risks exist but from what I’ve seen recently on the news, I’m safer than some.

There’s a dance craze, the KiKi challenge, with folks jumping out of cars, dancing then jumping back in before the car beats you to the intersection or you’re hit or hurt while living  la dulce vida. And there’s politics, where one can misspeak and bring about “terrors such as the world’s never seen.”  Or you can swallow a Tide pod or take the Hot Water challenge, dumping boiling water on yourself or someone, for fun.

Toss me a throw rug any day of the week.

Last week, after finishing physical therapy, I attempted to encourage a man groaning on the table next to me.  He’d had both knees replaced.  I reassured him, it gets better.

He looked my way, then hissed through clenched teeth, ” You’re still limping!”

I, having just gotten off steroids but still revved, snarled back,”Well, I’m not expecting to hit the runway any time soon.”

He, probably thought, “Logan airport.”

I,  on the other hand, thought,” tall, willowy model in stilettos.”

Maybe I’d better slap some yellow tape on my mouth and limit my risks to scattering rugs, not words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 Comments

  • Reply Elizabeth August 4, 2018 at 8:29 pm

    Jan, your posts always cause me to pause, reflect and usually look at life in a different direction. Bless you.

    You will hit the runway. You don’t need stilettos of course. Birkenstocks, SAS, Danskos or whatever your feet love will carry you forward. Scatter those rugs! After all, that’s what that antiskid underlayment was made for! So we can enjoy our throw rugs without the fear of being thrown off them!

  • Reply Dale Lefever August 5, 2018 at 12:13 am

    I have worked in medicine for 45 years and the question, “How are you today?” always has amazed me. My comment: “If I were good, would I be here (you moron, implied)?” So, I understand your frustration, but am reminded of the basic anatomical truth: we have two ears and one mouth. Is there a life principle here?

    You are a blessing even if not an encouragement to have my knee replaced this fall. 🙂

    Dale

  • Reply Jill MacCully August 5, 2018 at 12:32 am

    I just love you and I don’t even know you!!!! How much longer are you going to be on steroids? You’re hysterical! You remind me so much of Erma Bombeck! I can’t tell you how many laughs you’ve given me since I joined your blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Glad you’re on the mend. Hallelujah!

    • Reply Jan Carlberg August 5, 2018 at 9:47 pm

      Wow! Thanks for the endorsement, Jill. I look forward to meeting you some day. I’m on the mend and off steroids but obviously, some residue remains in my mouth.

  • Reply Dan Russ August 5, 2018 at 4:30 am

    Oh please, keep scattering both rugs and words!

    • Reply Jan August 5, 2018 at 9:50 pm

      Until “they” arrive with yellow tape, I hope to continue, Dan.

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