Church, as a building, won’t be open for business Palm Sunday or Easter. This reality leaves me feeling like Lent’s been extended or as one church posted outside their door, ” Hadn’t planned on giving up quite this much for Lent.”
Another friend linked me to N.T.Wright’s piece in Time: “Christianity Offers No Answers About the Coronavirus. It’s Not Supposed to. (3/29/20) While Christianity may not give answers, Wright offers hope and perspective during this season of lamentations, ours and God’s.
Yesterday my son dropped off groceries from a safe distance and I started to cry. He asked behind his mask,”Mom, are you losing it?’
“Yes, sometimes. It’s seeing you, not on a screen but alive and breathing.”
Ever since Jud died, I’ve lived alone but this feels so different. Sometimes, my prayers leak out like groans and sobs and fears come in waves. My mind proclaims, “It is well with my soul” but my heart begs to differ. There are some days when my heart and mind don’t seem to be on speaking terms. Fear muscles in between, anxious thoughts for me, them, you and we, the people.
Yesterday, after hanging up from talking with God, who’s never first to disconnect, I checked my email. AAA sent me this tip, “How to keep your car maintained during a driving hiatus.”
My car’s ten years old but all I plan to do someday is wash it, while singing happy birthday.
Back to N.T. Wright. He reminded me my groaning prayers, like yours, may be the Holy Spirit praying words for and through us:
“As the Spirit laments within us, so we become, even in our self-isolation small shrines where the presence and healing love of God can dwell. And out of that there can emerge new possibilities, new acts of kindness, new scientific understanding, new hope. New wisdom for our leaders? Now there’s a thought.”
Yes, there’s a thought, a”balm in Gilead” to heal and tend both mind and heart.
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