Enough. A Note From Jan.

Looking at life outside from my perch here at the kitchen counter where I write. Weather’s teetering between rain and snow. Wish I could vote. About that and a whole lot more that happens in this life. 

Took Maggie and Kate (Poco) to a Thai restaurant last night. Fun and interesting. Poco spent much of the dinner, eyes skyward, talking out loud to Jud, her Popo. “So, Popo, I don’t think the ceiling matters to you.  You can see through it to us. Right?!   I knew it! (Like he’d answered her in sign language!) How are you doing? We’re doing O.K. ”

I suppose that’s one of the small miracles that can slip through unnoticed most days…“doing O.K.” when life’s off kilter. To spend time with a granddaughter who lets me eavesdrop on her conversations with her grandfather. Grateful to be O.K. today, but I sometimes wonder, “What if O.K.’s as good as it gets?” Will that be enough?

While in California, I spent time talking with Heather about hope and hopelessness, since I’m to speak at a retreat on that topic in a couple of weeks. She referred me to some fascinating talks by Dr. Brene Brown, not directly addressing hopelessness/hope but some of the contributing factors. For example, scarcity, an issue even in our culture of seeming plenty. Scarcity…not having enough. Enough money, food, beauty, thinness, power, sleep…

To Paul who wanted more, as in healing, God said, “My Grace is enough.” Sufficient. O.K. Paul says in his letter to the Philippians, “I’ve learned…” To me, it’s not as important what he’s learned as that he’s still learning. He says, “I’ve learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.” (Philippians 4:11-12) 

I’m learning. Like my 4 year old granddaughter, I’m O.K. I get to vote many times each day whether to have a thankful heart or a complaining one. All of life’s not as random as it feels sometimes. And at times when grumbling surfaces—true trash talking—God shows up with Grace.  Arms spread wide, inviting me to come close, near enough to feel His heartbeat and sense his hopeful whisper, “Don’t be afraid. I’m with you. It’s O.K.” Sufficient. Enough.