I Know I Should't have but...
It's been a week since it happened, and longer since I posted anything. But now it's time for a written confession, of sorts. So, here goes. Blame it on a love affair between me and Gordon College, if one can say such. I confess, it's gone on for almost fifty years. So let me try to explain.
One week ago, Gordon College gave me a Lifetime Achievement Award. After being escorted from my pew to the podium, I turned to see people standing and clapping, including my family. Well, that was a sight to behold. And I know I should've said immediately, "Please be seated." And I should've pointed towards heaven and said,"All the honor goes to God." But, I gotta confess it felt kinda good. And so I stood there and soaked up a lot of love from people I love, at a place I still love to call home.
Over my eighty four years of living, I've been spit on, called names, ignored, voted against, lied to and about, ignored and more. Oh, and once when I was speaking at the final session of a women's retreat, I heard an odd noise. When I turned towards the sound, I saw a woman slumped over and snoring. So add, snored at to the list.
So you can sense why it felt good to see and hear folks standing and clapping. It felt like JOY on steroids. So thank you. But I also believe it was for Jud. We were a team. And like I told my friend, Julie, over breakfast yesterday at Comforts, "I believe that some of it was leftover love for Jud." Julie laughed and said, "That's a new one, 'leftover love.' "
Which reminds me, I don't want to head to heaven with leftover love. We all need daily doses of kindness, grace, mercy and love. Especially when we least deserve it. So thanks, Sam Schreiner, for your introduction. I loved what you said. But I'm grateful for all you didn't say, since you've known me a long time! And President Mike Hammond, thank you for your leadership, your words and for the trophy. The last time I got a trophy was in 1965 when I was teaching High School in Colorado and part of a bowling league.
So you can see why I enjoyed that standing ovation. Life's full of moments, all matter but not all are worthy of, or done for applause. Do any of us live without regrets? Tears and deep sorrows? A wish for do-overs? Second chances? For example, if I had it to do over again, to give a "key note address" after receiving this award, I would ask everyone to keep standing. What? Not for me, but to sing.
And what would we sing about. Well, to my family and friends I'd sing what I sing to my Grands, "I get enough of a lot of things, but I never get enough of you!" And I'd sing the Gospel truth, "Jesus loves me" and you and those we think Jesus could never love. But mostly I would ask us to stand and sing together, "Amazing Grace."
Thankfully, it's not too late for any of you reading this blog to sing together my story. And yours.
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see."
"Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come; 'tis Grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home." (v. 3)
"When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we'd first begun." (v.7)( John Newton, 1772)
So thank you, Gordon College, my family and friends for this gift of love. Since I'm still living, I pray and hope to keep learning, paying attention to people around me. And to live on tip-toe, anticipating miracles in the mundane, being grateful, and looking for ways to use any leftover love each day.
Well, and solving today's Wordle.
Oh, and counting laughter as aerobic exercise. My sister-in-love Chris, sends me some of the best "exercise." Like this one, which she sent after I drove her and my brother Ralph to Logan airport three days ago. "You know you're a bad driver when Siri says, "In 400 feet, stop and let me out!" It was a joke, right?
To life, laughter and love!
And a "tankful" heart.
32 Comments
No one deserves to be honored more than you (and Jud) -- no one has brought joy to more people than you have. David and I are so thankful for your deep, treasured friendship. We love you!
Thanks, dear Suzy and David! I'm grateful for our friendship and times shared at Baldon House in the beautiful English countryside. And other times at Gordon College or in our home. Thank you, both, for your years of service on Gordon's Board. I love you and your precious family.
For she's a jolly good "fellow", that nobody can deny... Congratulations. Well deserved!!
Well,I suspect there are a few who could deny such. But I do thank you, dear Russ, for your "applause" And for your friendship over the better part of these fifty years of calling Gordon College home and the place where you were a beloved, respected History Professor for many of those years..
Congratulations Jan! Reading your post made me smile and filled my heart with joy. Sending love and a big hug!
Well, I'm happy I made you smile, dear Heidi and spread some joy your way. Thank you for your love and hug. You're one of my
Gordon girls" and I'm grateful for you.
Oh my, Jan, how lovely. So glad Gordon has chosen to honor you in this way. You have given your heart to this community and its worthy work--and they have responded with love and thanksgiving. All that applause is recognition of your faithfulness, your loyalty, your enduring love, and your deep calling to this place. You are an inspiration and model for us all. May God continue to bless you in the days ahead and may God continue to hover over Gordon. From a friend and colleague in this great work, Phil Eaton
And you, dear Phil and Sharon, were part of why we loved our years of serving together, you, at Seattle Pacific University, and Jud and I at Gordon. To have been colleagues "in this great work" and friends to this day, remain heaven-sent gifts. Sending joy to you and Sharon.
You deserve the standing 'O' Dr Jan. It's been my honor to stand and serve with you and Jud for many years. Keep on growing!
Oh, George, how wonderful to hear from you out in colorful Colorado, where our friendship began. The years you and Jud served on the Denver Seminary Board grew our friendship, as did our love for New England, Barrington and Gordon College. Thank you for your good wishes. Sending love back to you and Linda.
Tankful for you and living through this beautifully shared experience! My Gordon graduate children and I are standing with that “great cloud of witnesses” too!
Amen! Sending love to you and your precious family in Oregon. The Petrocelli family is very dear to me, as are you. And standing with the "great cloud of witnesses" gives hope and joy for what's to come.
Jan ( and Jud) you RICHLY deserve a standing ovation and praise for your extraordinary contribution to all of us!! WELL DONE!
Thanks, dear Linda. It was so good to celebrate you a couple of weeks ago and the good work you've done for women in ministry in New England and beyond. I'm giving you a standing ovation! And God knows I just stood and clapped! And I didn't fall over.
Such love that was shared in that room Jan, and I so wish that I had been there to applaud and wish you a hearty congrats in person! This is well-deserved and I am grateful for this recognition among the Gordon community. I have been honored with your friendship throughout the years, starting as a student, then as faculty wife when you came and spoke out at Westmont when Ron and I were there, then as faculty wife during our years at Gordon, then as an enduring friend. You blessed me (and us) in so many tangible ways both professionally as well as during my years of cancer, and I know that you fully enriched all those in your circle and community in beautiful ways. Such a joy to know you and to see how many others your thoughtful and generous kindness has reached. Congratulations again on this amazing award and trophy! I hope it is displayed right next to your bowling one :-)
For sure, you and Ron are easy to love and cheer on, whether at Gordon, in DC or at Westmont College. We can all sing. at one time or another, "through many dangers, toils and snares, we have already come" and see Grace at work in and sometimes through us. Thank you for your thoughtful response to the blog and the award. If I can unearth that bowling trophy, I'll place it next to the beautiful one I just received. It will serve as balance, the bowling one was for "Most Improved."
Congratulations, Jan. Yes, you and Jud were a team, but this award was for your lifetime of love for the Gordon community. All blessings!
Thanks, dear Mark. To have served however, whenever, and wherever during our years at Gordon and elsewhere is a marvel of God at work in and through us. And at my age, it is a gift to be remembered and to remember. Mike and Jennifer Hammond are such a blessing to the Gordon community and I love them dearly. And I am grateful for you, Carol and your children (Margaret, Stephen, and Josh)who blessed Gordon with their musical gifts, intellectual curiosity and faith. Sending love to all.
Having sat under your teaching at Grace Chapel, I feel you deserve many accolades. You have been an inspiration to many women thru out your life. Thank you God for Jan Carlberg and how you have allowed her to touch many women and teach them to love Jesus more
Well, Ann, it was one of the greatest learning experiences for me to team teach JOY Bible study with Joanna Mocker for many years. Following Gail MacDonald took a BIG leap of faith and trust in God to teach me, before I taught. Grace Chapel is well-named. It was a place of Grace for me for the more than thirty years it was our Home church. And you women of JOY continue to represent Grace to me. Thank you for your encouragement, dear Ann. I'm so grateful those years encouraged you to love Jesus more. Me, too.
Is there a way to hear what you said Jan? Steve and I were just commenting that we wish we could have been there.
If you haven't heard this, or even if you have! This is a beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace <3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBNDdEnHCFQ
Is there a way to hear what you said Jan? Steve and I were just commenting that we wish we could have been there.
Last I heard, they were going to link it to other events from Homecoming weekend. I suggest you contact Peter Bayreuther in the
alumni office. In the talk, I actually mentioned I was with a group of alums the week before and one of them (Bob)suggested a one word speech to please all. "Thanks." and then sit down. So thanks again for lunch and time with you, Steve, Bob, Gwen and Sandy. I always enjoy time with you.
Jan,
I wish I could have been there to honor you! Some of my BEST childhood memories are my times I spent at Gordon with you and the family. I could see the love that you and Jud had for this school. Your partnership as a couple only made it stronger! So congratulations for this well deserved honor. Love Niffy
Oh, dear Niffy, and you are a wonderful part of our memories from when we lived on Martel road. and were neighbors. I know Heather and Chad would've loved to see you last Friday.Me, too, and your wonderful Mom.
Hope you're all doing well in Eastern North Carolina. Such a tragedy and so much damage to people and places in Western North Carolina. Thanks for your good wishes. Sending hugs to you and your family. It's my hope and prayer to see you and reconnect face to face the next time I'm in NC.
I love your humor and the way you write about everyday things ( sometimes personal ) and always end with AMAZING GRACE..
How wonderful to hear from you, dear Sharon. It is all GRACE, when I think about this life and what's to come, by faith in Jesus. And why LOVE is to be the language, we as Christians, are called and equipped to speak to each other and especially to those who we'd rather not even speak to, just about. Sending love to and gratitude for you and those I was blessed to share time with at El Montecito Presbyterian church. Please greet your pastor, Tom Haugen, for me.
So well deserved! Love ya
Well, that's debatable but not my surprise at the award nor gratitude for the love and affirmation from Gordon College, family and friends. Thanks, again, dear Candy, for lunch and that fascinating book on Glosta!
Beautifully said. You DO deserve thanks, but I love the way you deflected the praise. So like you!
Well, dear Darlene and John, remember I didn't deflect it all. Some I just stood and soaked up! Remembering fondly our years together at Congress in Boston. Thanks for surprising me by reading and responding to this post.
Andrew and I are so proud of you, Jan!! Wonderful reminder to send the compliments up. I am sure Jud is looking down, so proud of you. I personally have gained many reflective moments and encouragement from you and your blog. Also, cool that you got a trophy in CO, since I'm in UT and you're in MA! Life is funny where it sends us.
All the Best.