Settling: A Note from Jan on Jud's Return to MGH. Jud's Journal Entry Eleven.
Central line’s in place. No more daily pricks for blood draws. That’s good. Settled into Lunder #1032 late on Thursday. New wing but same nurses. That’s really good. Nice view of the city. Sun winks off the state house dome.
In his sweatpants and sneakers, Jud looks ready for a workout. No need for hospital gowns, unless he prefers them. Really. So he wears his own shirts and knit caps, sweatpants in the day and hospital pajama bottoms at night. Normal stuff.
No more sleeping over at the hospital for any of us but Jud. All who enter wear gloves and masks. That started Friday when chemo began. Awkward. Weird. Hot. When I walked in yesterday masked and gloved, Jud said, “Something’s come between us.” When I described the rules to Rob Joss, he said, “Sounds like kissing through a hedge.” True enough.
Jud lost weight while he was at home even though he ate well. But they said a good bit was fluid retention after the surgery and chemo and needed to come off. Looking at him reminds me of the Bible verse, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Well, I’m not the first one to pull a verse out of context and bend it to fit a personal agenda! He’s most appreciative of the care here, but, in general, hospital food needs some healthy encouragement. They’re big on white, gray and brownish foods. But the nutritionist said I could supplement from home as long as the food can be HEATED in the microwave to kill off any germs. Jud reeled off a list of favorites for me. I rolled my eyes and muttered, “I suppose I could just stay home and cook and bake.” He liked that idea.
Angels still show up. Epiphany looked up when I passed my parking ticket through her slot in the window yesterday. “Hey, you back?” “Yup, we’re back.” “How’s he doing?” I told her just enough and that we’d be here about a month. A line was forming behind me. “Well, you go see the social worker and get a parking discount. This adds up.” Imagine, an angel in a parking garage at MGH. Epiphany.
Tonight I’m thinking there’s more to settling than unpacking some stuff and arranging a small cupboard and a few drawers. I watch Jud and see a settled person and sense his unflinching stance, his purposeful heart and mind. Not always so with me. I shake sometimes, especially when I wake in the night and find myself beside an empty space. Praying helps me settle and sleep, most of the time. So does reading. Sometimes I grab an Advil. And, every now and then, I fall asleep counting my blessings. You’re on the list.
24 Comments
Do you know this hymn? It has been very meaningful to us. Love you and praying for you day and night.
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
"Glory to God who can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine"! I will keep praying and asking for that which is beyond my imagination to know. I let my imagination go to that place where I see God's mercy, justice, and healing and know that where I stop my Lord and my God goes miles beyond.
The word pictures, the sharing, the images you have given us all are certainly a gift I could never have imagined receiving. God working in us. Working in you, Jan & Jud. Thank you.
Many blessings to you,
Beckie & David
I think Norwegian pancakes can be microwaved. Love, tears and prayers
Marilyn and Paul
Thanks for painting such a moving portrait. We continue to pray for you both.
Thanks for allowing us to be part of your journey and we will pray!!
Your "angels" and God's provision for you, encourages us!
Your sense of humor makes us smile!
Blessings to Jud and you and your family!
Your nights are our mornings. Every time you cannot sleep and look out the window, and see a tiny shining star...that is us praying for you, sending you our love through God's magical channel!
We love you!
Thanks for keeping us updated. We continue to pray. We love you.
Praying for God's healing power and his loving arms around you as you face each day. We think of you often amid the pills, doctor's visits, and blood tests that seem to be a part of our life these days. Strength for one day at a time is all we can ask along with peace and courage that only God can give. We send our love.
Dick and Jody
After church we sat at Perkins reading this entry together. Tears welled up and and we prayed for you. Thank you for sharing your hearts so transparently. When a couple does life so well together, it shows in how they handle the tough stuff. Our continuing love and prayers to you in the journey.
Jay & Barb
We're still here. We're still praying. Thanks so for sharing.
Praying with you in the night.
I found this written in my Bible today : "Prayer precedes Peace, Power and Provision".
All of these are my prayer for you and Jud everyday.
Love, Sue xoxo
Somestimes I wish we could just hop on a plane to Boston and drop in for a visit. We miss you, we love you, we are thankful for you, and we pray for you.
David and Joyce
Praying this morning from Bozeman where Mark is preaching. Praying wherever we are for you both!
We will add our late night prayers with you and the others! Love to you and Jud.
He is ahead of you, with you, and behind you. He is in control. God bless you both thru this valley
Dear Jan,
Thanks for the update. I'll be praying specifically for you now when I wake in the night.....
Laura
Praying with you in the night.
I found this written in my Bible today : "Prayer precedes Peace, Power and Provision".
All of these are my prayer for you and Jud everyday.
Love, Sue xoxo
Somestimes I wish we could just hop on a plane to Boston and drop in for a visit. We miss you, we love you, we are thankful for you, and we pray for you.
David and Joyce
Praying this morning from Bozeman where Mark is preaching. Praying wherever we are for you both!
We will add our late night prayers with you and the others! Love to you and Jud.
He is ahead of you, with you, and behind you. He is in control. God bless you both thru this valley
Dear Jan,
Thanks for the update. I'll be praying specifically for you now when I wake in the night.....
Laura