Home for Christmas. A Note from Jan. Jud's Journal Entry Forty-nine.

Went to the maul (Martha’s preferred spelling). One hour and a half, including lunch at Nordstrom, enough maul. Hustle, bustle, whining, weary, bogged and bagged down folks. Some toting shopping bags proclaiming BELIEVE Macy’s spin.

Outside, like sentinels of Christmas, Salvation Army bell ringers No uniformed officers at this site No instrumentalists playing Christmas carols  Just a collection of folks at one door or another, willing to stand their post, freeze their hands and feet and ring away.

We need them. We who truly BELIEVE And so do those who believe in stuff

As well as those who think both sides are “much ado about nothing.”

Focused on matters of life and death these past months sharpened my appreciation for simple gestures like the kindness of strangers generosity thoughtfulness and bell ringers.

It also heightened my impatience when those traits are missing in others or myself. Today at lunch I watched a young couple spend most of their meal arguing small stuff, I thought most of what trips us up small stuff.

Emotionally tripped over some mail in our box Allen Edmonds shoe catalog The only shoe that fit Jud’s size 14 narrow feet. shoes still lined up in his closet Jud doesn’t need them All God’s children got shoes   Christmas keeps coming ready or not often nudging me with JOY rooted in gratitude for this NET boxwood tree from Lisa and Colleen after I said I didn’t think I’d have a tree this year Christmas wreath from friends and colleagues from other Christian colleges mincemeat tarts, still warm from the oven, from Lillian and Bill ingredients for cups of Christmas tea from Priscilla who knows loss and grief and more

phone numbers from elves at Gordon … “if you ever need anything, we’ll help.” Thanks,Jeff, Mike, Alton. Judy and her team at Gordon, assisting with the planning  and logistics for Jud’s memorial service. Chad delivering a Christmas tree, setting it up, and wrapping it in lights while two granddaughters snuggled with me on the sofa

And the gatherings I love that word. Gathering one way of swapping aloneness for togetherness “We gather together.” Book club, Bible study group, Gordon Christmas party, breakfast at the Inn with friends folks from church providing another feast for a gathering of our family a birthday dinner for Kristina at Davios tonight just Chad, Kristina and me no kids NO JUD adjusting to odd numbers “table for 3, please.” refusing not to gather

And so tomorrow, whether I feel like it or not I’ll haul myself to church to gather together with those who believe and some who may be questioning if it is all “much ado about nothing” but who still come for some reason, some person likely lured by Love in a way, the pews will welcome a bunch of bell ringers sentinels of Christmas doing battle against the small stuff that can trip us up reminding us what even the Grinch eventually learned “Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas … perhaps . . .means a little bit more.”

I’m grateful to have spent most of my life with a man named Jud who cared little for stuff but much for me, his family, and friends who loved all that was true and good about Christmas ringing out what he believed through his life “and having done all …” still standing at his post until God said, “Come on home.” HOME for Christmas.