Holy New Year! A Note From Jan. Jud's Journal Entry Fifty-four.

It was well past midnight and my bedtime but we couldn’t stop laughing and talking. Heather or Matt thumped the wall that separates our bedrooms, hoping to silence Lily and me. We tried. Really.

Kindred spirits. First of the GRANDS. The first to whom I sang, “I get enough of a lot of things but I never get enough of you!” The first to turn Popo into silly putty. and I, apparently, a giggling, talkative teen.

It started when  Lily heard me sniffle, face jammed into my pillow false try at hiding nightly tears from missing Jud 24/7 but especially at night. Lily asked me something and I said, “I miss nights with your Popo. He’d ask, ‘How was your day?’ And we’d talk and catch up, wrapped up in each other.”

After an elongated pause Lily asked, “So how was your day, Momo?” and laughter took over.

After settling a bit I ventured on, Loud nose blowing, eye dabbing followed by, “He was so thoughtful.” Lily’s volley, “I’m full of thoughts.” And the thumps grew louder as we struggled to settle down. Sacred time with a 15 year old GRANDdaughter.

Today some settling came. California family flew home. Chad’s family took off for time with friends in NY. And I looked around at a house that needed yellow tape to mark it as a crime scene.  Crime against order.

They’d stripped beds, tossed down towels, hauled out trash and picked up toys but now it was time for OCD Mama (according to SOME in the family) to take it to the next level. Not talking perfection (unworthy goal) … just my normal routine. Where is Jud?! I miss my super helper this first day of 2015.

After loading the dishwasher and tossing a load of sheets into the washer, I headed for the living room. The room with the view of the Atlantic. The ocean  didn’t need tending from me. After sitting and staring a few minutes, the phone rang. Chad calling en route to NY, “How you doing, Mom?  Just checking in.” Thoughtful. A thump to the heart. Settle down.

The quiet’s good. All 3 families need to return to their normal. In a couple of weeks we’ll gather again for Jud’s Memorial service January 17th. (a reminder) But today it’s good to vacuum, do some laundry and sift through the remains of Christmas.   Moving a chair in the living room to vacuum, I found baby Jesus in the manger, Mary, halo missing, hiding under the Christmas tree skirt. Halos come and go for most of us, as does whatever order we crave or need. Christmas stays, if we choose. The real part. Just need an occasional thump to the heart to settle down and remember. Holy night Holy day time Holy New Year!