One Small Dash. A Note From Jan.

January 21, 2015 · posted by Martha Stout

Dear NET,

Thank you to all who came to the service. Thank you to those who watched from home. It was an amazing day. Right now, I’m too tired to reflect and write on all that’s been happening these past few days. I’ll try in the next couple of days but wanted to connect, especially with those who weren’t able to come or watch the service.

Maybe the best way, for now, is to send what I wrote in Saturday’s program. It’s all about ONE SMALL DASH. Yours and mine.

Today we celebrate Jud’s life, or so events like this suggest. Truth is, Jud’s the one celebrating life. Real life. The rest of us get to take another look at ours and see how we’re doing with what’s been entrusted to us. What am I doing with this ONE SMALL DASH?

The Rev. Otis Moss preached a memorable sermon several years ago at the funeral of Mrs. Martin Luther King Sr. He noted that on a gravestone you read the date of birth and death with a small dash in between. That dash represents our life. One small dash.

Life. Complicated Wondrous Terrible Choice moments Awfully short Don’t blink.

After so many years together, I know what Jud would say; Follow Jesus. He challenged us to live, to flourish… less by words, more by how he lived.

The last weeks of his life on earth marked us as a family. Jud’s steadfastness, faith, humor, kindness, gratitude, thoughtfulness, courage, integrity and peace in the face of suffering and approaching death inoculated us against hopelessness about life without him.

His choice to endure extreme hardship and pain gave us the gift of extended time with him, each other and the God he loved and served with all his heart, mind and soul.

In those last days I pictured him, the fisherman, casting a vast net over us all, gently pulling us together while he took up his cross to follow Christ, The Fisherman, to that other shore. Never to trap us, but to draw us close so we’d gain strength from staying together trusting God, loving each other, no matter what. Jud lived that for us until he took his last breath.

So, dear family, friends, neighbors and caregivers, Thank you for choosing to use some of your dash to tend to Jud, me and our family.

Thank you, dear NET, for gifts from your hearts, purses, minds, strength and time. Thank you for holding the NET with each leap we took and continue to take, for connecting on CaringBridge, praying, hoping, walking, crawling with us on this awful-wonderful journey.

Thank you, MGH team, NIH, Family Medicine in Manchester, Aberdeen Home Care and Kaplan Family Hospice House for the skill to make use of the best medicine and research available, for choosing to care again and again while doing the work of doctoring, nursing, researching and assisting.

Thank you, Gordon College, a diverse, significant, generous, loving community of learners and followers of Christ. Keep learning and practicing what it means to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, strength, and your neighbor as yourself. You’ve been the place we loved to call home for more than 35 years. Still do.

Thank you for coming today for remembering one man, husband, dad, grandfather, friend, learner and servant leader, gifted and blessed by God.

Thank you, Jud, for taking what God entrusted you with and multiplying it through the stewardship of your life and the good company you kept. What a dash, dearest Love!

Soli Deo Gloria!

wendy lane — January 23, 2015

Can't even begin to say how thankful we were to have been able to be there. Such a powerful, amazing, wonderful, heart wrenching, uplifting, beautiful, meaningful, etc! service. And a big hug from you was icing on the cake. Continued love and prayers, and looking forward to seeing you again in hopefully not tooooo long, Wendy

Meg and Bruce Herman — January 22, 2015

Due to being in bed with the flu, I had to watch the memorial service form home. Laughed, cried, and even took notes. All those wonderful things we heard about Jud outlined a beautiful recipe of life for us all to follow. Thank you both for being such shining examples, and role models, of how to live, how to love, and yes, how to die following Christ. I needed the reminder " to love life more than you fear death".

Alice Shea — January 22, 2015

Sorry I missed this wonderful time. Please continue to write! I just took out your book The Hungry Heart, signed to me in May 1991.

Tom Englund — January 21, 2015

Dear Jan,
We were among those who watched the service and did so together here in my study. What a beautiful expression of who Jud was and who you are. Thank you for sharing yourself so sensitively over the past several months.

We had planned to be with you in the chapel, but my own health issues give us some days that are pretty good and some not so much so. Thus, we made the decision to be here at home.

Since the service, a phrase from "Day by Day" has been running through my mind: "mingling toil with peace and rest." We pray that God will now give you peace and rest in abundance.

Roger Green — January 21, 2015

Dear Jan,
Thank you for the gift of that service to all of us, not only as a remembrance of Jud, but of what it means to be children of the heavenly father. It was hard to say goodbye to Jud, but it was a day of God's grace to all of us who attended.
Our continued love,
Roger and Karen

Joanne MacInnis — January 21, 2015

Dear Jan,
Although our time with Jud was so brief, it was an honor to have participated in his care in even the smallest way. I follow your journey on CaringBridge, and am always moved by the entries. To be mentioned by you, as a participant in his care is such an honor. With deepest respect and sympathy, Fondly, Joanne MacInnis RN

David and Joyce Dixon — January 21, 2015

Thank you, Jan. Your comments were so moving and meaningful, and just as we knew Jud for so many years. Likewise, the comments touched me a great deal. As you know, we could not make it to the service, and our church was sponsoring a week-end seminar, so we missed seeing it live. I searched the Gordon web site and You Tube, but could find no trace of the service. Will a video be available sometime on line? We would be so thankful to see it. You and the family are very present in our thoughts and prayers.
Love, David and Joyce

Marylou Habecker — January 21, 2015

Gene and I were touched by the presence of The Lord that was in that place.
His angels showed up physically and in the air we breathed. Jesus was honored and we got to know dear Jud in ways we never knew before. Thank you Jan, for the piece that you wrote and shared here. It is a treasured piece. The service challenged us at many levels. .... I wrote in my journal..." Don't waste the dash"
Love and continued prayers dear Jan.

Bob Andringa — January 21, 2015

Jan, I watched the celebration with awe -- beauty, honor, grace, reverence, family, friends, respect, joy, humor, intimacy, and so much more. I chocked up often and tears flowed during Chad's video. I miss my dear and highly respected friend, Jud. But your epistles from the griever to the mourners -- and the service shared with all -- moved me a few steps closer to Jud's admonition "Follow Jesus." What a journey! Well done, Jan. Well done, family. Well done, Gordon. Well done, NET. And, for sure, well done good and faithful servant, Jud.

Patricia McKay — January 21, 2015

So very grateful to be able to watch from home, Jan. Thank you—and Gordon—for that. Watched and listened carefully, even as I moved about caring for P. Especially enjoyed your family—Heather's tender words, Lily's sweet memories (I well remember when she was born!), Luke's huge courage to sing for his Popo and Momo so beautifully in front of such a large gathering! And Chad's video...there are no words. What touching images and words to help all to let go and move on. How gracious of Jud to allow it. It helps. I'm thinking of you and yours often, praying for comfort that all the memories and God's promises will bring. Big hugs!

Priscilla Walker — January 21, 2015

Remarkably heartbreaking and heartwarming.
Much love and prayers for all of Jud's dear family in the days ahead.

Russell Bishop — January 21, 2015

A moving remembrance. Chad's documentary was a highlight for me because it showed the extent of Jud's suffering and his grace and humor in the midst of it.

Richard Allen Farmer — January 21, 2015

I know of no college president, sitting or retired, who could have commanded such a turnout as last Saturday morning. What a gathering!!!

Walter Hansen — January 21, 2015

Dear Jan,
I was deeply moved by the beautiful celebration of Jud's life. All of the tributes, the prayers and the music inspired me to follow Jesus as Jud did. Thank you, dear Jan, for sharing his life with us. I treasure every time Darlene and I had with you and Jud. You are in my heart and prayers. Grace, mercy and peace of God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Walter