Small Matters. A Note From Jan.
Quiet. So quiet, I hear the heat come on. Walls creaking in the cold. Holy nighttime. “Be still and know that I am God.”
Smiling. Remembering when Jud was working on his doctorate at Michigan State University. Heather was a pre-schooler; Chad a baby. When asked if I’d be willing to watch another child or two near Heather’s age, I agreed. It made sense to take in a couple of other children whose parents were in graduate school. Helped a bit financially and Heather had playmates. A win-win as some in business circles say.
On the first day, the three children took their places at the small table in the kitchen: Douglas, 3 years old. Julie, 4. Heather, 3. Chad, a new baby, slept. (Rare!)
Nothing fancy. Three small plastic glasses of milk. Three small plates with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches transformed by a cookie cutter. As was our family custom, I said, “Before we eat, let’s thank God for the food.” Douglas looked wide-eyed at me and exclaimed, “Are you God?”
Feels good to laugh.
Somewhere in the Bible it says something about, “Do not despise the day of small things.” Maybe that includes small ones at a small table eating small food … specially delivered by God through whoever gets tapped. Tiny events in that ever so small dash called life.
That was more than 40 years ago. I don’t know where Douglas is, but I hope he knows who God is and that God has something far better for him than star-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
A John Rutter CD plays as I write tonight. God slips into the stillness. Holy quiet. I feel small, swaddled in sound and truth Pie Jesu.
Small matters.
10 Comments
Another beautiful message of encouragement!
Memories, such a blessing. Love reading yours. Love you.
I too love the Rutter "Pie Jesu." The ending notes ascend to heaven, that is the little tiny peek of heaven we get through music, poets and saints.
I'm in the mountains of NC sending love your way.
Thanks for continuing to make us a part of your life through these postings. God does not waste a grief and His ministry in and through you is a blessing to many. I know it was not our Doug, but he does know the God with a capital G.
Love, Dale
Grandma always told us good things come in small packages...your words sink-in, like hers, slowing my heartbeat...opening out onto the vastness of this world of wonders that any child can see and know by grace
Child-like faith, not childish faith is something we strive for. Thanks for the reminder that God is at work in star-shaped peanut butter sandwiches.
jay & Barb
Jan, I'm still reflecting on the amazing service last weekend. It left me wishing I had known Jud much longer, so I could have gleaned even more of his wisdom and guidance. But I am so grateful for the few years I had with him and for all he did for BioLogos in those few years that cancer was in remission. And it was a privilege to be there, to hear of all the facets of Jud's life (I never knew he loved fishing!). He will always be a role model for me in how to follow Jesus as a Christian leader.
Jan, I hope it's okay if I post the link to Chad's video here - I read several people asking about it and I tracked it down on YouTube. What a beautiful tribute!
http://youtu.be/hlgI3tdggZE
Jud was an honorable man I dearly wish I'd known better. One gathers from these memorial tributes, not to mention from son Chad's film, something of the essence of his father. One poet called it “the best portion of a good man's life: his little, nameless unremembered acts of kindness and love.”
A friend sent this to me today, Jan. May it encourage you as well...Hugs!
*Streams in the Desert*
He withdrew... to a solitary place (Matthew 14:13).
There is no music during a musical rest, but the rest is part of the making of the music. In the melody of our life, the music is separated here and there by rests. During those rests, we foolishly believe we have come to the end fo the song. God sends us time of forced leisure by allowing sickness, disappointed plans, and frustrated efforts. He brings a sudden pause in the choral hymns of our lives, and we lament that our voices must be silent. We grieve that our part is missing in the music that continually rises to the ear of our Creator. Yet how does a musician read the rest? He counts the break with unwavering precision and plays his next note with confidence, as if no pause were ever there.
God does not write the music of our lives without a plan. Our part is to learn the tune and not be discouraged during the rests. They are not to be slurred over or omitted, nor used to destroy the melody or to change the key. If we will only look up, God Himself will count the time for us. With our eyes on Him, our next note will be full and clear. If we sorrowfully say to ourselves, "There is no music in a rest," let us not forget that the rest is part of the making of the music. The process is often slow and painful in this life, yet how patiently God works to teach us! And how long He waits for us to learn the lesson!
--John Ruskin
Called aside--
From the glad working of your busy life,
From the world's ceaseless stir of care and strife,
Into the shade and stillness by your Heavenly Guide
For a brief time you have been called aside.
Called aside--
Perhaps into a desert garden dim;
And yet not alone, when you have been with Him,
And heard His voice in sweetest accents say:
"Child, will you not with Me this still hour stay?"
Called aside--
In hidden paths with Christ your Lord to tread,
Deeper to drink at the sweet Fountainhead,
Closer in fellowship with Him to roam,
Nearer, perhaps, to feel your Heavenly Home.
Called aside--
Oh, knowledge deeper grows with Him alone;
In secret oft His deeper love is shown,
And learned in many an hour of dark distress
Some rare, sweet lesson of His tenderness.
Called aside--
We thank You for the stillness and the shade;
We thank You for the hidden paths Your love has made,
And, so that we have wept and watched with Thee,
We thank You for our dark Gethsemane.
Called aside--
O restful thought - He doeth all things well;
O blessed sense, with Christ alone to dwell;
So in the shadow of Your cross to hide,
We thank You, Lord, to have been called aside.
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