Remembering Rosie the Riveter. A Note From Jan.
Spent the better part of yesterday with Heather. So many of Jud’s traits are at home in her: Calm under pressure, wise, adventuresome, disciplined, skilled listener and lover of learning and nature.
She and Matt rented a cargo-bike (can hold up to 8 bags of groceries!) as a means of freeing up a car for me. (Thoughtful!) Off she goes with joy-filled Basil on the back, squealing and talking away to his amazing Mom who he’s started calling, “Henna.” Sorta like his delight in discovering “Jan” for me.
Heather’s good company. She’s also a good cook. Meal times matter to her and Matt, despite choir, sports, play rehearsals and work…It’s a rare dinner that doesn’t find all six of us seated around the table, eating, conversing. Not easy to pull off. Hard not to thrive in such a nurturing environment.
Yesterday, Heather took me to a small museum in Richmond, California. The museum celebrates Rosie the Riveter who became the face of many women in the workforce during World War II. Reading and listening to some of the stories reminded me of my childhood in Chicago in the 1940s. Mama was a nurse. Women could aspire to becoming a nurse, teacher, secretary and not much more, except for being a maid or nanny. So there was Mama in starched cap, dress (never pants!), white stockings (with seams), and polished white shoes.
I remember peeling off the tinfoil from gum wrappers… saving it, forming a ball, giving it to the junk man “for the war effort.” We were urged to be frugal, to “wear it out,” and “use it up.”
That war brought us together for a cause. Women learned they could do more than cook and clean their house and raise children…all of which matter. They could make a difference “on the home front.” They could weld! And more.
Which is why I kept blowing my nose while reading about Rosie, remembering ways Jud urged me to do more with my life, helping me identify and use the gifts God gave me. Jud believed in me and in his daughter. He looked for ways to help us flourish.
Thank you, Jud. Years ago you began preparing me for life without you. Nothing either of us wanted. I can’t weld but I can wield a pen and use a computer (with some limitations…just ask the grandchildren!). Thank you for encouraging me to think, to ask questions.
We didn’t start out that way. You were threatened. Me, too. You were old school, “Like father, like son.” But we learned and grew together, and the risks you took grew me. I thank you. So does Heather. Add Lily, Kristina, Maggie and Kate to that list of grateful women as well as women who worked with you at Gordon and elsewhere.
Not sure why I started down this path tonight except, since visiting the museum, I’ve found myself thinking about the profound changes in women’s lives, in the family, in our culture since I was a kid.
Super Bowl commercials reminded me of the caring nature of dads, of all that girls can grow up to be. I’m grateful Jud was a caring Dad and husband before it became marketable, as were so many of you who will be reading this.
Earlier this evening, Basil came in to ask me to come and sing to him. I’d been crying, reading some of the letters and cards sent from friends and family (the NET) after Jud died. I can only read them in small doses. While blowing my nose, I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door. (Lily’s room) Basil asked me, “Are you feeling OK, Momo?” “No, I’m sad. I miss Popo. But I’ll come and sing to you.”
So I did. Sometimes you have to sing whether you feel like it or not. After awhile, I asked him if there was anything he especially missed about Popo. “I miss his dancing.” Luke came into the room, curled up on the bed with us and stated that he missed “everything about Popo.” Next thing, Basil says, “I’ll be Popo. You sing, Momo!” So I sang and he “danced.” Imitating the ways Jud “danced,” making fun of me. Then Luke took over and before long the 3 of us were doubled over laughing.
That’s how it goes. Sobbing one minute. Snuggling up with grandchildren the next. Laughing at images of Jud dancing. So many emotions, so many images…the joy of being a woman….a woman who hasn’t tried to have it all but is grateful for all I have. Thank you, Jud.
10 Comments
Jud dancing? I thought he was a Baptist....
Love this, Jan—and you...<3
Ann Voskamp
... sure, it doesn't look like it to anybody else, Lord, but You know it, and it's okay: there's a whole lot of us limping tonight in ways no one knows.
Let us feel it -- Your presence gently touching the aloneness that has barnacled itself to hidden places, Your words so close we feel the warmth of You right now in the tired places: "I am for you. I won't let you go. I’ll show up & take care of you as I promised... I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (Jer.29:11MSG, Ex. 36:9, Deu31:6)
Let all us weary reach out & just hold on to one more of the weary, because we belong to each other -- so all of us who need to hear You tonight, feel it in the tiredness of our bones -- the leeching loneliness falling straight away
and the gentle strength of comforting arms drawing us up & into
that resting embrace of grace.
In the name of the only One who has ever loved us to death
and back to the realest & forever life, In Gentle Jesus' name,
Amen.
#SharingPrayerTogether
Jan, I too am grateful for our supportive and encouraging husbands who nudged us both to discover our gifts and use them with freedom. And I remember a conversation with your mom when I was preparing to speak at a retreat. She encouraged me to be myself when I was intimidated by her amazing gift. We are blessed women. As you move through this difficult and tumultuous time, may you continue to find "joy in this journey"...your book and present posts continue to challenge and encourage me. Love you, dear friend and pray for you each day! Jud was always so proud of you!! I am too!
Hi Jan ... I love your posts and the wisdom, insight and humor that lies within. You are a gifted writer and speaker ... you come by it naturally. :) I can see you speaking at conferences and in churches all across our country. And I can see numerous books that your pen has authored. I can also see a great blessing coming from the Heart of God to countless numbers of women (and men too!). God has a plan ... and it is GOOD. He's already prepared it for you. And it will be a JOY to see it unfold! Jud and your sweet mom will be cheering you on from the heights of Heaven ... <3
You are my favorite writer to read; always so rich and full of love, joy, humor and yes sadness too. Thank you for how you are enriching our lives.
Love your posts, Jan--and so glad you're with family and being blessed by your kids! <3
Good words below for me today. Maybe for you too??
From *Streams in the Desert*
Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor deem these days--these waiting days--as ill!
The One who loves thee best, who plans thy way,
Hath not forgotten thy great need today!
And, if He waits, 'tis sure He waits to prove
To thee, His tender child, His heart's deep love.
Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Thou longest much to know thy dear Lord's will!
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corrodingly within, because of His delay
Persuade thyself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves, will do the best.
Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one, until
His way hath opened. Then, ah then, how sweet!
How glad thy heart, and then how swift thy feet
Thy inner being then, ah then, how strong!
And waiting days not counted then too long.
Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
What higher service could'st thou for Him fill?
'Tis hard! ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all how much is lost!
'Tis hard, 'tis true! But then--He giveth grace
To count the hardest spot the sweetest place.
--J. D. Cindy Smith
Jan, add me to your "list of grateful women" who worked with Jud at Gordon. I learned so much from him at so many levels.
My Mom was a Rosie but not a Riveter. She worked on a "spaghetti machine" that had something to do with bomb fuses. Couldn't say much about her job.
Hugs to you and your California family and keep singing!
Wonderful words about Jud's wisdom and how you flourished because of it - and vice versa, for sure!
Love and warm thoughts to Heather - comfortimg blessing she is!
Priscilla
Such richness, honesty, delight in good memories that built in each of you. Jud loved to build in you each
and every one.. Comforting to read how God is blessing you together. We miss him too.
Jan, we are SO happy for you to be there with Heather's family passing on all the rich memories and grandchild stories to entertain and enrich us. We can see that your gift for observing, distilling and writing is growing...and growing. Keep on nourishing it and it will nourish others. Storytelling runs in your family! Love you. Miss you. J & T