Jud's Return to MGH. A Note From Jan. Jud's Journal Entry Thirty-two
Day +31 for Jud SATURDAY, November 15, 2014
Who determines what is a PLUS or MINUS day? Plus 31 for Jud looks anything but. The man nicknamed “hollow leg” because of what he could eat and still stay trim for most of his life, swallowed applesauce for dinner. Applesauce and a fistful of pills. He was full. Full of so much that doesn’t belong inside such a good man. Lord, be merciful.
Matt’s here bringing wisdom and experience as a physician. Comfort as our son-in-love.
John Sarouf showed up bearing gifts; homemade vegetable soup and bread. Our unasked for dinner from a God who “supplies all our needs.” Manna in the wilderness. Chad said, ”Mom, slurping’s not a good thing!” He’s right. But it was so good. So good.
IT IS NOW SUNDAY…Day +32
We are back at MGH not church. Same floor, new room. Lunder 1012
Pain so bad in the night. Oxygen levels low. Fluid gaining, not leaving. All made Lunder look better/safer than home. Visiting nurse, Kathy, an angel with attitude, along with Matt and Heather made the move back to MGH happen fast. Jud said, “Time to go.” The one who wanted nothing more than to come home readied himself to return to the frontline, wearing a flimsy hospital gown, under which he’d girded himself, long ago, with the formidable armor of God.
We’ve talked as a family. Jud’s underscored that there will be no more invasive procedures, no heroics. I know that Bible verse says something like weeping endures for the night but JOY comes in the morning. Weeping seems to never cease for long. Throughout the long night, Jud moaned, I wept. Helpless. Every now and then, he’d whisper, “I love you, sweetheart.” Each time he whispered, “help me,” I called for Matt, Chad or Heather as Moses was off last night.
Jud’s too weak to stand on his own. So we all help steady him. Help him walk, use the bathroom, dress. Privileged to tend him. Humbling to receive care. Our turn to steady and support the one who’s been the steady, supportive one for our family.
Lunder 1012 means no masks or gloves and a family member can sleep over. Heather’s there with her Dad tonight. She and Matt want me home getting some sleep. Jud’s at peace with his Dr. Daughter attending him. Matt, Chad and I return in the morning for consultations.
Today the visiting nurse said, “I’m sorry, Jud, this is no fun for you, is it?” Jud lifted his head, “It’s fun having my family here.” Maybe that’s the JOY that comes, not always in the morning, but in moments. Moments of remembering, hoping, listening, sharing soup and bread or sleeping together on a bed in the dining room under the watchful eye of Moses. And the God of Abraham and Jud and his family.
45 Comments
Dear Jan and Jud,
Please know that the Oliver family is prayerfully joining you in your journey. May God, who has been your rock, continue to hold and sustain you each minute.
Rick, Kathy, Megan, Rebecca and Michael
Tugs at the heart strings. Wishing for peace in the midst of heartbreak...
Our prayers, our love, and our very hearts are there with you, dear Jan and Jud. You are teaching us all about hope, dignity, and faith. Amazing Grace indeed.
Francis and Diane
Jud, Jan, Matt, Heather, Chad, Kristina,
please know that prayers, love, hope, care, concern, and more love, hope abound and abide with you this night and in the days to come.
That is a tough family discussion. Means so much. No more tubes, but all of you are heroes. I'm glad all of you are there, together, doing what you can. Having no regrets, putting life on hold. Life.
I'm praying for Jud, you, your adult kids as you face this minute by minute, tear by tear. I still don't like that I've travelled this road too. I still trust in Jesus, the Giver of Life. I'm calling out your names to Him.
Praying! Sending love.
Jan and Jud, my heart hurts reading the posts. We will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers, that you and your family have the peace that passes understanding.
Gwen (Wendy Flagg) Connor
May the Lord sustain all of you and pour his grace on Jud as he travels this difficult journey. You are loved and prayers are offered up for you. With blessings and prayers, Hélène Dallaire
May the everlasting arms continue to bear you up and may He extend His peace beyond measure...Randy and Karen
Dear Jan and family,
We just want you to know that we pray for Jud every day. We marvel at his courageous battle, and rejoice that his family is so present and loving. Wish there was more we could do, but it seems that Jud is in the best of hands. Thank you for keeping everyone informed.
Love, Ann and Dick
So sorry for the setback and for all the pain this is for you all. I am praying and thinking of you all. XO
Jud and Jan, we've been following your posts regularly, and our heart goes out to both of you. Some of what Jud has experienced is familiar to us -- my brother and Jessica's father-in-law. We pray with and for you frequently. Continue to find your strength in th. Lord
While our words are few, our love, thoughts and our prayers are constant and heartfelt. We love you, dear ones.....
Dear Jud and Jan,
O God, the strength of the weak and the comfort of sufferers: Mercifully accept our prayers, and grant to your servant Jud the help of your power, that this sickness may be turned into health, and our sorrow into joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. From the BCP...and our hearts.
...and for you, dearest Jan, and your dear family, God be with you and bless you with his loving presence and never-ending love, comfort, peace, joy, and all the pluses you all need.
We love you and through our tears we pray for you and long for healing for Jud,
Lillian and Bill
Our thoughts, prayers, and hearts are with you. We are thinking of you all day long and only wish that we could reach out to you with our arms.
Love,
Roger and Karen
Our hearts and prayers go out to you Jud and Jan, that Lunder 1012 will soon be a place of the past, a detour, that you'll back on the highway to your place by the sea, to Gloucester very, very soon.
Our love always,
Mark and Arlyne
Mark and Arlyne
Peace be with all of you!
Jan....I know your focus....and all your family's focus...is on Jud. He is the ours too....
But I know something else....I have walked in your shoes....it is not an easy path for you. You do it so well....but the load is there that does not lift with the sun in the mornings. I understand. I pray for you too. Peter
Stretching out our hearts like arms- reaching, grabbing hold, lifting, steadying, coming alongside, and crying out to God to gentle these days.
From afar, dear Jan and Jud, Dave and I pray for tender mercies. Please know of our love,
Helene and Dave
Oh, Jan and Jud ... there are no words. Only heartfelt prayer. Lord have mercy on your humble servants. Give them grace, grace and more grace ... please, Lord. Please.
Can barely type through my tears. Praying with all my heart to the one who loves you all more than words can express... visualizing Him holding Jud, holding Jan, holding Heather and Chad and each of your loved ones. Praying for miraculous and total healing. thankful for His grace and mercies. love and hugs
How sacred to share in these moments when the mercy and presence of God is so clear in the life of His beloved ones. Our hearts grieve, and we just pray Lord have mercy.
Mark and Priscilla
Words aren't sufficient to express all that is in mymind and heart for all of you. I continue to pray knowing that the Holy Spirit takes all of our words and groans before the throne of grace. He will not quench the bruised reed or extinguish the flickering flame....Lord, support and sustain your suffering servants with your mercy and compassion.
Praying for the comfort and compassion of the Lord to surround and sustain you this very moment, this very day...in all the plus and minus moments. We send our love in Jesus, Steve and Ruthie
Oh Jud and Jan, even in this dark moment we benefit from your faithful sharing of each move, each breath - and even each slurping, bearing with you the grief, weight and love you feel. Precious moments each; I know that God will supply what is needed for the facing of each and pray that you will experience that grace as sufficient. Greg & Laura
Jan, Jud, and family,
You are dearly loved and we weep with you; hope with you; trust with you. May our God - the strong and mighty one, hold you and support you as lean upon Him.
Ton and I are holding you all close to our hearts and close to the Throne. Joy indeed comes in the morning. And God is good all the time. Praying fervently.
We are praying and crying out to God for his grace to you both and to your whole family, dear Jan and Jud. Hoping for an easing of the pain and longing for restoration.
Jud, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as you face these days of uncertainty. Jan, you and Jud's strong faith gives many hope to face tomorrow, one day at a time.
At this point in the story, the loving is as hard as it gets--- and as good as it gets. Keep holding on -- to each other, to God, even to the suffering. God saves every tear, every wince, every sigh and makes it whole. Our love to you and Jud. Hold tight!
I am on my knees praying for mercy and grace. May you feel the strength and love from each gripping the net. We love you all so much and pray for comfort as you continue to endure this. Please give Jud my love and a hug and tell him it's from me. Then tell him to hug you and that is from me to you my dear Jan. XO
We echo the thoughts and prayers of so many. And we continue to pray, along with Elizabeth and Steven. Please, dear Heavenly Father, turn this situation around, by your grace.
Love from us all,
David and Joyce
Ah...dear ones...I am weeping as I write -- both for joy in the love that you are all made of, and for the suffering that just seems to be unremitting... love to you all...arms surrounding you in prayer.
You are surrounded by the prayers of the people, of those who love Jesus and those who love Jud and those who love the entire Carlberg family.
Jud and Jan, I am crying as I read this. What a battle this has been! I am going to keep praying all day! For what? Peace. Comfort. Love you ALL!
Many prayers for you.
Grateful for the work of God's Spirit to intercede for us as our moans and wails and tears have no words. Peace. Love. Joy. Healing. Comfort. All prayers sent for you, Jud, and for you, Jan. And for your family. May God be ever near. - The Maurers
What a wonderful person he is!
Praying to our merciful Father
Nancy and I sat in service at Lake Avenue Church Pasadena yesterday in a great worship experience focused on the promises of Christ's eventual return and God's eternal life. Old hymns filled with such promises for our future - we wept together in a strange mix of grief and hope as we placed Jud, Jan and the whole family int the hands of the One who holds yours and our tomorrows. David and Nancy
Praying for you both.
"In you, oh Lord, I put my trust; let me never be put to shame. Deliver me in Your righteousness, and cause me to escape; incline your ear to me, and save me...for you are my rock and my fortress...for you are my hope, oh Lord, God; you are my trust from my youth...you are my strong refuge... But I will hoop continually, and Will praise You jet more and more...You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, shall revive me again, and bring me up from the depths of the earth. You shall increase my greatness, And comfort me on every side." From Psalm 71
We believe! We declare à clean and healthy body!
We trust in à Faithful, Powerful, Almighty and Loving God!Happy is hè who has the God of Jacob for his help. (Ps. 146)Love youuuuuuu!!! Believing together, xoxo.
I fell asleep praying for you and woke up praying for you and now the prayers are joined with tears. Lord Jesus help us to trust in You even in this.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, be merciful to Jud, Jan, and all the dear family. Carry, heal, protect, and sustain them by your steadfast love, Good Shepherd of your sheep.