On Reading Obituaries. A Note From Jan.

Last week I attended Elisabeth Elliot Gren’s memorial service at Gordon College. One small way to honor her, her husband, Lars Gren, and her extended family, which includes Jim Howard, a classmate of Jud’s and mine. Elisabeth and I did not agree on all issues, but I admired her strength, courage, wit and persevering spirit. She also taught me from some of her writings.

One of Elisabeth’s brothers recalled a story from 1956 of the photojournalist from Life magazine who was assigned to photograph and interview the widows of the five martyred missionaries in Ecuador.  At the end of their session, he said his story was complete except for one pressing question:  “WHY?” He reminded them that the slain missionaries knew that the Aucas were not friendly and that those five white men had invaded their territory at great risk. “So, WHY do it when they knew they could get killed?’” Elisabeth and the other widows answered with one word, “Obedience. The last commandment from Jesus was to go into all the world and preach the gospel.  And so they did.”

Reading obituaries provides insights into human nature, families, what matters, and how people use  their dash—that too small space between when we are born and when we die.

Every now and then a photo in the Boston Globe obituary section grabs my attention.  One day’s obituaries featured side by side photos of two nonagenarians. The left hand column showed the photo of a billionaire casino mogul, dead at 98, followed by the story of his business dealings and accomplishments. “Sometimes you lose,” he said, “but that’s the nature of the game…there’s alway another game and another chance to win.” 

The right hand side showed the face of an older woman tending a child with cerebral palsy, a child unable to walk or talk. They communicated through sign language, smiles, hugs. The headline read, ”Grace Cyr, foster parent, took loving care of 98 kids.” She died at age 94 after 49 years of being a foster parent. Grace.

WHY, Mr. Mogul, did you spend your life as you did? WHY, Grace, did you choose to invest in 98 foster children, after you’d raised your own family?

What does obedience look like from God’s perspective? How do we “preach the gospel” without words? WHY do I do what I do? Sometimes I wonder.