On Choosing Life. A Note From Jan.

July. Summertime. The sign ”Sandy Feet Welcome” hangs askew. Jostled by beach lovers coming and going. One who will remain nameless said, ”Mom, why do you have that sign?  You know you don’t like sandy feet trekking through the house.  Is it a reminder to you?”

Hmmmm, ”I guess so.”

Signs, symbols, refrigerator art, photos, reminders to let the small things go. Carpe diem, instead of trying to control and micro-manage life. Welcome sandy feet, sticky fingers and their friends. I need that nudge to focus less on house maintenance and more on home building. It’s a struggle…the balance between control and creativity.  Trying, on one hand, to tend a house with sufficient order to combat chaos. And, on the other, to let go just enough to create a welcoming space free from the tension of over controlling; free from obsessive maintenance of that which will all be left behind some day.

Brings to mind a few lines written by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton (Googled her, since I had no clue as to who wrote the lines I’d learned decades ago) “The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow But children grow up so I’ve learned to my sorrow.”

Easier with the grands than with our own children, isn’t it. Felt so responsible with our own it was sometimes too challenging to lighten up. Missing Jud who gave me perspective, laying his hand on the back of my neck, calming and reassuring me “all will be well.” Keeping perspective, widening the lens, appreciating there’s more to the story and to those who are characters within the tale.

Today the struggle felt more about control than cleanliness and order— When to “let it go.” When to receive and be grateful for the help of others. And when to push myself to do more than I feel like doing. 

Each day brings opportunities to let go and receive. Some days that feels freeing. Like this morning when Chad made the Norwegian pancakes. Felt and tasted good to sit and receive.

Other times it feels more like I’m losing it, admitting defeat, weakness. So I force myself to act brave, strong and in charge. God knows, I’m half Norwegian and we don’t give up control easily. It’s my Danish half that loves to let loose, laugh and disrupt the notions of Norwegians missing the humor gene.

A passage from the Old Testament reminds me WHY it matters. “Now I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.” (Deuteronomy 30:19-20) 

Every choice is a move towards life or death.  Fussing over sandy feet and crumbs…small deaths.  Receiving wisdom and care from family and friends….life. Relinquishing control…life.

Choice moments. “Choose life….so your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God.” Live and love. Love and live. Lord, in your mercy, hear my prayer.